With everything out on the table and complete honesty, we built a beautiful relationship with each other.  We introduced one another to family members and his child.  He  was definitely my boyfriend according to my heart body soul and mind, but not technically.  we created romantic memories together and grew extremely close. He was my best friend, my lover, and everything I needed him to be for me. So on the 16th of February, I asked him to be by boyfriend again and of course he gladly accepted.

Throughout this year our relationship wasn’t easy and simple as i had hoped. By May of this year, his ex-girlfriend had moved back to Georgia and back in his life (in actuality she never left). She gained employment at the same location where he worked and he fed me the line of security that she is his best friend whenever i became uneasy with the two of them.  I believed what he told me because he made a commitment to me so I did not doubt that he would fail to honor that.  Our relationship had gotten very far even when i was away for school he came around often and their was no doubt in my mind that he was all for me. Not until tempers and arguments arose from nothing did I feel like I was missing something come November.

I was very confused and received mixed signals. we got an expression of our feelings towards one another permanently tatted on our wrists. ‘One Love’ One on his wrist and Love tattooed on mine.  Soon after I found text messages between him and his infamous best friend exclaiming that they will get matching tattoos. That left me bewildered and lost I felt like a fool. He couldn’t give no real explanation for what i read because he could not tell me that i was not the only one he was loving.

I finally learned on the last day of this year what had been going on between those two. He was cheating on me and did not want either of us to walk away at the time. A few days later he confessed that he was going to be with the other but the very next day wanted me to understand that he cant be with her and toss me to the side so he would be by himself.  My heart was not ready to let him go yet  so i continued to pursue him but once more not officially.

I’m going to skip to the summer of this year because that’s when everything gets interesting. We had planned to catch up and see each other when we both came back to Atlanta for summer break. We had a great time together the first time we got together for the summer. He was still in a relationship with the girl from our high school but I was free. One interesting event I remember from that day is our trip to the park. It was something we had done a few times during the previous summer when we were a couple. Anyways, we spent that whole day together and indeed had a wonderful time enjoying each other’s company shall I say. A few days later, he revealed to me through a text message that he still had feelings for me and they came back to surface on the day we were together and he couldn’t get me out of his head ever since. I didn’t know what to say, I just knew I liked being around him and wanted him to stay a part of my life.

We started hanging out more and talking on the phone at night all the time until it eventually became and every night thing. We were getting closer and closer and it became unusual for us not to see each other on a day. I felt more like his girlfriend and him my boyfriend even though I knew the reality. He still had a girlfriend so we held back on physical affection even though our feelings for each other made that extremely hard. One day that all changed when he asked me to spend the night with him. In my head I knew that something might happen that shouldn’t while a man is in a relationship. The night started when we went to see a late movie at the theater. After the movie was over, we went some fast food, then back to his house when he asked me to spend the night with him.

That night we kissed for the first time again. We were in position to make love but that candle was not lite on that night.

Before I went off to school, we shared that passion together on a beautiful afternoon in August.  After I left, I had thoughts but not doubts that we wouldn’t last again, because I knew that this time around that we had something more.

About a little over a month went by and Josh became a single man finally. I liked the idea that they were no longer officially together but I always reminded myself that his feelings for her will not diminish over night, especially since they ended on good terms.  That only gave me more room to fall for him and him more energy to focus on me and as the year came to an end, we had fallen in love……

Things between us changed so drastically , I could have been in my death-bed and he would not have the slightest clue. Eventually I felt undesired by him and considered my self doing him a favor when I ended our relationship after dating for four months. But honestly I had originally planned to break up with him in order to open his eyes and get his attention but that did not work at all. I opened the door and he ran right out of with without thinking twice. I tried calling him afterwards because I utterly hate loosing friends, but that apparently was not his concern. we both moved on some faster than others might I add but I can admit that there were plenty of times that I thought about how things might have been if we were still together especially when I made trips back home from school. Almost everywhere I went reminded me of him in one form or the other.

Eventually he came around and attempted to reach out to me. Me being the softee that I am went against my morals and allowed contact with him. After a few months of becoming strangers, I decided to call him the night of his birthday and he was quite appalled to hear from me. I remember thinking how we connect so well and have a genuine friendship after so long. I was truly happy I had that conversation with him that night…

I loved flirting with him not only because I was just a big flirt, but I was also feeling him when we came back for second semester.  Towards the end of the school year, We got a little closer and it became very obvious that we were into one another. Prom came firs, and though he wasn’t my date, he certainly looked like it. Following prom was the senior picnic at Stone Mountain Park. During the laser show we had our first romantic moment and that served as the spark of this love journey. Our first kissed followed shortly afterwards and I remember it like it was yesterday. He first asked me what were my intentions with him and I gave a pretty open-ended answer. I told him I was going with the flow. When I asked him the same question, he went for the kiss and from that moment on, I had no doubt in my mind that he was the person I wanted to be with.  We hung out all the time and dated then we finally made it official on June 5, 2008. This was the start of what I saw in my mind as something that could potentially last forever. Everything between us was next to crystal perfect and our emotional connection was sky up until we both parted in different directions for college.

I had my heart set on us staying strong and happy even with the distance but my heart was disappointed. Out of nowhere things began to change….

First semester of our senior year at Cedar Grove High School in Ellenwood Georgia, we were forced to meet by an Economics class project. Our teacher Dr. Haig got a special thrill from assigning random new seating charts at various times of the semester. This one time was specifically for a project where he paired us as husband and wife. We had been attending the same school since junior high but never noticed one another before this day. As everyone had settled in a seat, Dr. Haig proclaimed, “The person sitting next to you is your husband or wife!” You could hear squirming throughout the classroom of disappointment as high schoolers have always been cruel creatures. I had no clue that the boy sitting to my left assigned my husband would be the boy that I fall head over heels in love with…

Our first conversation over the telephone went a little something like this: “Hello” “Hey did you do your part?” “yea you did yours?’ “yea….alright bye!” I admit I was expecting something more and he admitting the same thing.

Somehow this was a project that lasted the whole semester, so we spent some time in class getting to know little things about each other. I learned he had a girlfriend at the time (who became the mother of his child by the way) and I was seeing other people. I did have an interest in him, but forgot about it quickly as I learned he was in a relationship. So we finished out the semester with the “Heys” as we passed one another in the hallway…….